On Thursday, January 16 I will be 25 weeks. Baby's due date is in 15 weeks, that's 105 days! It's getting so close.
I'm not going to pretend that pregnancy is easy, I don't believe it is meant to be. Every woman experiences pregnancy different, but it is no small task.
For me it has been pretty rough, especially the beginning. My morning sickness made me hate being pregnant. I literally couldn't eat or drink anything and keep it down. I lost over 10 pounds and was SO weak and tired ALL the time. Currently I have sciatic nerve pain so intense that it makes walking almost impossible and laying down or sitting isn't anymore comfortable. Sleeping is a joke, my hips hurt so bad I spend the whole night flipping back and forth from one side to the other. I only wait to see what the third trimester holds for me.
My experience has been very similar to many pregnant women's. In fact, there are many who have had it way worse than me.
I knew that with pregnancy comes difficulties, but in all my life I never really heard much about it. I knew pregnancy brought morning sickness, aches and pains, and exhaustion, but I never really understood the tole all that can have on your body. I don't think it is possible to really grasp it until you are in the middle of it. And I think the reason many don't know how bad it really can get is because at the end of the 9 months there is a baby. Once that baby is there, everything in pregnancy that was so hard doesn't really matter anymore. For one it is in the past, and two it all turns out to be worth it. There is no reason to dwindle on the pains of the past 9 months once the baby has arrived, it's over.
I have noticed that there is a special bond that pregnant women and those who have ever been pregnant share. When passing another pregnant women there is this shared glance of understand that is exchanged as you pass one another, those who have ever been pregnant here of the struggles and recall there own.
What makes this all so great is I think this is what creating life is all about. Every trial and difficulty we experience in this life holds the opportunity of growth, if we let it. Often when we fight our trials, they consume us, but if we can reach a point of acceptance that's when growth can occur. Pregnancy is a sacrifice. The obvious sacrifice is your body. There are pains that cannot be taken away only endured. But they have their purpose, which makes them wonderful. Creating life is an amazing gift, but it does not end with the life created, it also creates parents. Pregnancy gives the opportunity to realize your life is no longer simple your own, you now live with a purpose beyond yourself (and husband). The decisions you make, the actions you take will mold this thing you have created. As a parent so much is sacrificed to make sure your children are loved and raised to be who you hope they will become. The purpose in all the sacrifices of parenthood is to learn that it's not really a sacrifice at all, it is a gift.
So, although I am in the middle of my pregnancy difficulties I want to focus on the things I love about it and the growth I can see within myself that has come from it up to this point.
I love feeling baby girl move and dance around. She is so active.
I love the sheer look of amazement on John's face every time he feels our baby girl move.
I love when John, mostly jokingly I think, talks to our baby girl.
I love looking at the number on the scale and for the first time in my life, smiling at the increase because I know it means baby girl is growing strong and healthy.
I love the concern for safety I have over my body because our baby girl is growing inside.
I love the realization that all these things, along with the many others, mean that I am becoming a mother. (Another great thing about creating life, it continually adds to your identity).
