...and it just keeps coming.

So we left the hospital thinking 7 days of antibiotics and life goes back to normal. Monday John leaves with our stuff and Wednesday Olivia and I fly out. Well looks like that's not quite how it's going to work out.

Monday we left the hospital. We were told she needed to take antibiotics for the next 7 days and have a follow up appointment in a few days and they sent us on our way.

Fast forward to today at her appointment. Her pediatrician asked me if they went over the results of the ultrasound. I thought about it, and they hadn't. With all the craziness I figured if they didn't say anything it had come back normal. Well turns out it didn't. He proceeded to tell me that her left kidney was inflamed. They told us she had a UTI, urinary tract infection. In my mind when I hear UTI I think Bladder infection, no big deal. Well turns out she has a kidney infection. About 70% of babies that get kidney infections have something called VUR, basically their urine backs up into their kidney from their bladder, which causes an infection. Not good. If nothing is done she could keep getting infections which would damage her kidney. So what does this all mean!?!?!

Next Thursday I have to take Olivia in to get a VCUG. With a catheter they will put a type of dye in her bladder. Using an x-ray they will see if that fluid goes up into her kidneys. If it doesn't she's all good, it was an isolated kidney infection, no big deal.

If it shows that it does move up into the kidney then she will have to go on a low dose of antibiotics everyday until she outgrows it, that's the good thing most kids do outgrow it. But it could take awhile for her to outgrow it. And she will need ultrasound every few months to make sure it is not getting worse,

If she doesn't outgrow it, she would need surgery to fix it. The doctor really doesn't think it's bad enough for surgery because it was only one kidney that was inflamed and the inflammation wasn't too severe.

So we are hoping for the best, and I'm preparing for the second worst (constant antibiotics), because I can't even imagine my baby girl needing surgery sometime in the next few years.

There are a lot of things about it that worry me. Will she build up an immunity to the antibiotics? Will her kidney become damaged and cause her issues her whole life? Will I always freak out when she gets a fever and worry something is wrong with her kidney? What if she does end up needing surgery?

But I shouldn't worry about those things. They are all unlikely and will only cause me stress.

For now we wait for next Thursday to come and hope for the best. And look forward to joining John in Utah, whenever that may be.

When motherhood is not fun:Aka the worst weekend of my life

Motherhood is hard but I didn't realize how hard until our little girl got sick and ended up in the hospital.

Up until this last week I've had challenges.  Breastfeeding was horrible at first, but it's better now.  Olivia is so gassy and colicky in the evenings,  but she sleeps well at night and is otherwise a happy baby.  She refuses a bottle (of my milk of course) so I don't see any dates with just John happening anytime in the near future. 

Those things are hard, but I expected all that and was prepared for those things to happen.  I wasn't prepared with having her be admitted to the hospital and have no idea if she would be OK. 

Last Sunday,  June 15th
The whole week before she had diarrhea. Then on Sunday Olivia slept a lot during the day and she didn't eat much. Around 9pm or so we noticed she was acting funny.  We laid her down on our bed to change her and she kept going in and out of sleep.  Now Olivia has never just fallen asleep like that.  When laid on her back she is either wide eyed looking around or screaming for us to pick her up.  I felt her and she felt super hot! And she wouldn't really open her eyes.  She was also moaning with each breathe. We took her temperature and she had a fever.  We were told when she was born if she was less than 2 months and got a fever to take her straight to the er. So we did.  We got there and she threw up a ton and was still super delirious.  They gave her Tylenol, and after awhile became more alert and wanted to eat.  She still had a really high fever but she was acting better so they sent us home. 

Monday-Friday (June 16th-20th)
The fever never went away.  We would give her Tylenol and it would go down a bit but it would spike back up as soon as it started wearing off. She was throwing up and sleeping way more than normal. 

Friday June 20th
On Friday we debated taking her back in. We didn't know if we were just being paranoid or if we should actually be worried.  We thought maybe we would wait till Monday and if she was still feverish we would take her back.  Then I noticed she was getting super pale. I checked her temperature and she had a fever again and I had given her medicine 2 hours earlier.  So we grabbed her stuff and headed to urgent care.

We got there at 7. They took her temperature and the fever was gone. We were so confused. She was still really pale though so I knew something was going on. They decided to do blood work and a urine test.

Having her blood taken was the most traumatic experience of our lives. The guy doing it couldn't get a vein and he was basically just digging around in her arm to try and find one.  All the while he had John and I holding Olivia down. It was awful. We were bawling.  He couldn't get one so he tried the other arm and it was the same. He was practically digging around in her arm and we were holding her down while she screamed and wiggled. He eventually stopped trying and at that point the doctor came in and said they were going to admit her to the hospital.

They explained that most likely she had an infection and with babies this young it's dangerous because it could easily spread to the blood or brain,  causing sepsis or meningitis. Also she was probably super dehydrated. We were terrified and bawling. They took her vitals and sent us to the pediatric unit.

We arrived at 8pm. They told us they needed to start an iv line, take blood, do a spinal tap,  and start her on antibiotics fast. 

We couldn't handle watching her be stabbed again so we stepped out.  I felt horrible, she looked terrified and we left her.  But it probably wouldn't have helped to have us in there. It took almost an hour for them to get the iv in. The whole time we were waiting,  we bawled, we prayed that she would be OK, we bawled some more.

I couldn't help think of the worst. She might have permanent brain damage, or worse we might lose her. The tears would not stop flowing. 

They came and got us. Told us they got a line in. We went in the room and she was swaddled and asleep.  She hasn't let us swaddle her since the day after she was born. She was not doing well. 

They came to take her blood and decided to do it through a heel prick she she was such a hard stick.  They tried giving her a pacifier to help soothe her and she took it! My concern grew,  she hates the pacifier and always spits it out.  They got all the blood they needed through the heel except one vile, that one had to come straight from the vein.  This time it was just me, John had run home. I held her hand and the lady got it on the first try! No digging, no holding her down. She still cried, I still cried, but it wasn't as traumatizing.

Then they needed to do the spinal tap and insert an catheter for a urine test. They told me that it was something I would want to watch so I went in the waiting room and waited for John to get back. 

He got back and we waited.  They came and got us and said they got the urine sample but couldn't get enough spinal fluid because she was too dehydrated. They also said it took three nurses instead of the usual one to hold her in the fetal position for the spinal tap. She was so strong. When they told me that it made me proud.  She's a fighter. 

At that point we went to sleep,  all we could do was wait. If the blood came back positive they would do the spinal tap. If it didn't there was no need. If the blood was positive she would be in the hospital for a round of intense antibiotics at least 10 days, if the spinal tap was positive it would be at least 21 days.

Saturday June 21st
She initial urine and blood tests had elevated white blood counts so she definitely had an infection. They just didn't know how far it had gotten. Most the day was just waiting. They checked her often to make sure her fever didn't spike and that everything else was fine. She was on intense antibiotics just in case it had gotten to her brain. They also did a ultrasound on her kidneys to make sure the uti wasn't caused by some defect in her kidneys. (which only made us freak out,  what if she needed a kidney transplant!) By Saturday night we still didn't have any results but the doctors were optimistic because of how alert she was.

Sunday June 22nd
The 24 hour blood cultures came back negative! The ultrasound was fine. She had a urinary tract infection and as long at the 48 hour blood culture came back negative the uti was contained and she would just need to continue antibiotics at home but she would be fine.

Monday June 23rd
48 hour culture is negative! She is fine. She doesn't need a kidney transplant, she is not gonna be in the hospital for a month, she is not going to have permanent brain damage. She is gonna have some diarrhea from the antibiotics and she will probably be more gassy from them but she will be fine. 

At this point we are just waiting for the identification of the bacteria so they know exactly what antibiotic to send us home with. It may not be till tomorrow that we go home but Olivia is ok.

On a side note, this morning she kicked her iv out. Aparrently she is ready to go home. Luckily because she is doing so well they aren't going to put it back in.

This weekend was the most horrible weekend of my life. I was terrified. I thought we were gonna lose our baby girl. It's terrifying how quickly things can escalate with little babies. I couldn't help but think if they only just tested her for a uti in the er (and if it turned out to be worse I might have just gone down there and freaked out on them). Or what if we waited until Monday like we had talked about. But she is ok,  so none of that matters.

John and I are a bit traumatized and we will probably be a bit paranoid for awhile but we have our happy, silly, gassy, strong, and intense baby girl so everything will be fine.

After they got the iv in on Friday night

Waiting for final results on Sunday so we took a stroll 

Monday nap time waiting to go home!