The making of...

3 years ago today John and I became boyfriend and girlfriend... And much like the making of our relationship it just kind of happened.

I moved to Long Beach August 2008. John left Long Beach to serve a mission in Puerto Rico for two years July 2008. We missed meeting each other by one month.

During those two years I heard a lot about him. It seemed like so many girls wanted to date him when he got back, and it was kind of annoying. I always though, what could be so great about him?

Two years later John got back from his mission. He saw my picture and thought I was cute. That Sunday he was talking to a guy he knew before the mission and his girlfriend walked up. (hint: the girlfriend was me). And with that the thought of ever dating me went out the window. I was now just his friend's girlfriend.

Months later John was dating someone, I was dating his friend, so we went on a double date. And that date started a whole chain of double dates.

Since my boyfriend at the time was John's friend I was there to see him at his "just broke up with his girlfriend" low. And then more double dates with the next girl he dated. Then that girl moved back to Utah and my boyfriend left for a two year mission.

The next little while I tried to help set John up with a few girls, which didn't end up happening for one reason or another. We would talk when we saw each other at various church activities but that was about it.

(The first picture of the two of us. Just friends, going to a greek festival with some other people)

At some point in the midst of trying to set him up and running into him I realized I kind of might have a crush on him. But I ignored it and told no one. He was the guy so many girls thought was cute (putting him out of my league), he was my ex boyfriends friend (making him off limits), and there was no way he liked me (making it impossible).

And I was more than ok with that. I honestly didn't want to date. I had a few guys who were interested, a couple that took me on trick dates, and it annoyed me and I just didn't feel like dealing with guys at the time. I was single for the first time in awhile and I liked it.

So, life continued. Until a friend made a comment that I should date him which I laughed and replied there was no way. But then the idea had been said out loud which made the impossibility of it kind of suck. It didn't change anything though, it would never happen and I was having fun being single but I decided it wouldn't hurt to flirt.

His birthday was coming up so a friend and I decided it would be funny to buy him razors (He kept complaining that his was dull). And mostly as an excuse to go out for sushi we took him out for his birthday.

The day before his birthday a group of us got together at someone's house and we ended up somehow playing spin the bottle (seriously I don't even know how it came up) but I knew this would be the only chance I had to kiss him so I agreed to play.

That was probably a bad idea for a few reasons but mostly because after I kissed him I realized I definitely liked him.

On his actual birthday he had work and class all day and then had to study. Not much of a birthday. So I got my half of the razor gift, went to 7 eleven and got a slurpee and showed up outside his dorm room. I gave them to him, it was a little awkward and then I left. When I left I freaked out and was like what the heck did I just do?!?! I had had this moment of courage, but it was awkward and now he would know!

A few days later we went out for sushi. John, my friend, and me. And honestly besides the fact I love eating sushi and I liked spending time with John it was an awful night. The whole time all I could think about was the fact that we kissed and the fact I didn't want to like him because it would never go anywhere and I liked being single.

So at that point I decided since there was no way he would ever like me or we would ever date that it didn't matter if I flirted with him. So that's what I did.

A few weeks went by, I got out of class early, John did well on a test or something so I "tricked" him into meeting me at Yogurtland to celebrate. We met and stayed there talking till closing.

(I didn't think it meant anything besides the fact we were becoming good friends)

Later that week a group of us went to the LA temple. John and I rode in the same car. He was in the front and I sat in the back. After, we all went to this pizza place in LA and when we got there there was this outdoor market. John wanted to walk through it but everyone was just hungry so I said I would, mostly because I wanted to walk through it too but also because I wanted to be alone with him. So, when we got to the pizza place the only seats at the table were at the very end sitting across from each other. A friend jokingly made a comment that it was like we were on a date and I got super awkward, made sure not to make eye contact with John, and then quickly changed the subject.

We left and when we got in the car John got in the back seat next to me. By this time it was really late and I was exhausted so I tried leaning against the side to fall asleep. Those of you who have ever tried to sleep in the back of a mini Cooper can attest to the fact they are super uncomfortable. I kept readjusting and then John put his arm up and said I could lean against him if I wanted. So I did. And knowing this would never happen again I didn't move a muscle once I was there.

(At this point I honestly just thought he was being nice and that this in no way was a move. He still didn't like me and there was no chance he ever would)

The next day a group of us with annual passes went to Disneyland (John included). I had work and John had class so we were going a little later than everyone else so we decided to carpool.

Disneyland was a blast of course! But it seemed like every ride John and I ended up sitting together. I started feeling super awkward, I didn't want him to figure out I had started liking him (because there was still no way he liked me), I didn't want other people to figure out I liked him (because then he would probably end up finding out), and I just wanted to have fun at Disneyland and not worry about this boy that would never like me.

It was near the end of the night and we went to watch World of Color. We were watching it and it was amazing and then he put his arm around me! At first all I could think was it's cold, he's just being nice. Then the show was over, one of our friends gave us a look, and we all started running to the other side of the park to catch the last ride of tower of terror before the park closed. At some point as we were running John grabbed my hand. So we are running through California Adventure hand in hand. It was like a movie.

(This picture was taken at some point during World of Color)

And then it hit me, John Sellers is holding my hand! And the battle in my mind started. Wait, he doesn't like me. He has to like you, he's holding your hand. Maybe he just feels bad for putting his arm around you and doesn't know what to do so he's holding your hand. No, that makes no sense. He totally likes you. How did this happen? Who cares! No, we can't date. Maybe it's just all the Disney magic, we'll leave and he'll realize what happened and then it will just be awkward between us. Who cares, he's holding your hand!

We went on the ride, we left and he held my hand the whole drive home. He dropped me off at home and that was that. I was confused because there was no way he could like me and we weren't supposed to end up dating, but I was happy.

The next evening he came over to watch a movie. We held hands during the movie and after we were just talking and then he kissed me. And then I kissed him. And then we were both like what is happening. And then we kissed again.

(After we had kissed)

The next day was October 23rd. It was a Sunday, we sat next to each other at church which we had never done before. At that moment everyone knew. Some people were mad (remember he was my ex's friend and I hadn't told anyone that I liked him) and others were excited, but we were all smiles. (Like super huge, cheesy smiles). 

(The first picture we took after we were officially bf/gf)

That evening he came over and we were just hanging out. My roommate came out and was like do you guys like each other and we just looked at each other and then looked at her and said yes. A couple minutes later she came out and asked if we were dating. He looked at me and asked if we were dating. I asked him if we were dating and we looked at my roommate and said yes. And that was that.

Over the next few weeks/months we had quite a few people mad at us. (No one knew I even had a crush on him, and he was my ex's friend). It sucked. I hated that people were mad, but we were happy, super happy. I never thought anything would come of a crush I had on a boy I wasn't supposed to like but there we were so giddy it was ridiculous. We were together in all our free time, spent so many nights at Disneyland, and enjoyed every minute we had together. We met each other's families and somewhere in between we fell in love.

And the rest is history. 

I've heard often you fall in love while you're busy making other plans. That is definitely what happened with John and I. I don't think either of us ever thought we would ever end up dating let alone get married and I'm so happy we did.

I don't know if I believe in soul mates but if I did I would say John is definitely mine. We fell together quite unexpectedly and these last three years have been the best three years. I love our story, and I'm pretty sure it would make an awesome movie. ;)

(Like a week after we started dating he came in and tried to surprise me while I was sitting at my desk doing my nails and flipped onto my bed... kicking out my window. I just laughed so hard!)

(Playing)

Olivia

Next week Olivia will be 6 months old! Seriously I don't even know where the time has gone.

What I do know is man she is growing up fast!

She has been crawling since 4 and a half months, sitting up since 5 months, and she has begun to pull herself up on things and climb shallow steps. It is funny to see her around other babies that are older than her and not yet crawling. She is so small compared to them but she can crawl right up to them and grab their face and all they can do it lay or sit there crying because they can't move yet. (Yes this has happened a few times at the library...)

She chews on EVERYTHING! We were at church on Sunday and she kept leaning over to chew on the pew, then she had a friends travel brush during Sunday School and she was just chewing it and kind of throwing it around.... she actually ended up somehow pulling the two sides apart. She's crazy.

We have started giving her solids. Her first food was a baked sweet potato. She pretty much demolished it and was shoving it in her mouth. She's tried a few things (Sweet potato, avocado, banana, grapes, green beans, peach, asparagus, potatoes, black beans, chicken) and it turns out so far she really isn't a big fan of fruit. Which I think is really weird, but I think her favorite food so far has been black beans, avocado, and chicken. She was using the spoon to shovel in the black beans all by herself and going crazy. It was awesome. Letting her feed herself is SUPER messy but she seems to love it so it's definitely worth the mess. Also, I love not giving her the typical gerber baby food and just giving her some of what we are eating. She seems to enjoy eating what mom and dad are eating. It's fun and I don't have to worry about buying baby food. woohoo!

John's Birthday Surprise(s)!!

John's birthday was on Friday and I really wanted to make this birthday awesome!

There are many reasons why but the main two were 1) he has been in law school for almost two months and while it is not as bad as he thought it was it is a lot of work and so he spends about 12 hours a day at school. So when he is home he is usually exhausted and just wants to chill. 2) His last birthday I was pregnant and SOOO sick. I was throwing up all the time and had zero energy and so I had nothing planned for his birthday. I am pretty sure I threw up like 10 times that day and a little after dinner I was like we HAVE to do something! So we went out to eat. He got food and I got a milkshake that I think I took 5 sips of and let him have the rest. I felt bad for him having the lamest birthday ever.

So, long story short. This year NEEDED to be different! And luckily this past week was his placement break. SO although he still had lots of work to do he didn't have classes so he had more free time which meant FUN EVERYDAY.

Here's how it went down:

Monday: He was at school most of the day. Olivia and I visited him for lunch. That night I made him curry for dinner (because he loves curry). Then we went to the Provo City Library because they were having this exhibit of the original Looney Toons art, it was pretty neat. Also, I got him a few pictures of him and I and a couple with Olivia to put in his carrel (his desk at school).


Tuesday: He was at school basically all day. I visited him for lunch. He had a dinner for this Law symposium that was going on with delegates from around the world so he didn't get home till about 9pm. So, I made him this heart map.



Wednesday: He got to sleep in! YAY! He went to school to work on a few things. Then we went to the corn maze and picked pumpkins!! So fun!!! Oh and we had hot dogs for dinner because we LOVE LOVE LOVE hot dogs.



Thursday: More school for John. Then we went to the Museum on campus which he has been wanting to do. When we got home I surprised him with a nerf gun fight!


Friday: Birthday DAY! We slept in and then went to the Provo City Library where they do this music and story time for babies. I thought it would be nice since it is probably going to be the only chance John gets to go since he normally has school. Then we went to Tocanos for lunch, it is this really yummy Brazilian meat place. It was good, and I probably ate a whole pineapple! Olivia scarfed on some asparagus and fried bananas. Then we chilled for a little while we digested, we watched Perks of Being a Wallflower, a movie John really likes. And then we went to yogurtland! And surprise! His parents just happened to be there! Actually we planned it. They were coming to Utah to get a car and they worked out coming for his birthday and we decided not to tell him. It was awesome and he was SO SO shocked.

Saturday: We went apple picking in the morning! Then he went and hung out with his family while I go things ready. At 6 we went out and hiked the Y while his sister watched Olivia. The hike was pretty awesome and the sunset was amazing. When we were almost to the top I faked hurting my ankle so we had to go back down. When we got to the house surprise! Everyone was there and we ate tacos and hung out.


Sunday: Just a normal Sunday... but we had Bratwurst for dinner because he has been talking about it for awhile and it's his birthday so yumyum!



All in all I think he enjoyed the week and all the birthday surprises. It was seriously SO hard to keep his parents and the party a secret from him. I almost accidentally told him a few times. Keeping things from the person you tell absolutely everything to is not so easy, but I did it and I think it was a success.

John is 26 now! He is officially in his late 20s and yes he is freaking out that he is "almost" 30. I love him.

Delivered out of bondage

The other night we went to a reunion for John's mission. John went on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints from 2008-2010 in Puerto Rico (He was also on the islands of Aruba and Curacao). They have the reunions here is Utah so we haven't been able to go to the last few so he was excited to see people he hadn't seen in awhile. There was lots of catching up, food, and his mission president and his wife talked a little about what they are doing now.

They are currently working down in Mexico City for the Church. He is a lawyer and they have spent the last few years as the churches legal Council in Mexico City.

His wife talked a lot about the burdens we bear and gave this story of relieving someone else's burdens and shared this scripture.

Mosiah 7:33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

She emphasized "full purpose of heart" and "with all diligence of mind"  and then of course "he will... Deliver you out of bondage".

When she said this it just made me feel such relief and made me really happy. We all go throw times that are difficult, our own bondage, if we have faith, if we believe we can make it through, if we work hard to be better and help those around us we will get through the hard times. Those hard times may not end when we want them to and they may end in a way we didn't think of or end with us somewhere we never would have thought we would be but they will end, we will be delivered out of bondage.

That is such a great promise. And in the midst of struggles it is so comforting to hear.

Often times when we are struggling we can't see an out and we don't think anyone can help us. But luckily there is always someone watching over us and He tends to put people in our lives that will help us in our times of need.

Lucky for me I have an amazing husband. The anxiety and loneliness that have come with being a stay at home mom has been hard for me. But John helped me make a plan and though it's only been in place a few days... I can feel that bondage I felt I was trapped in disappearing. And not only that I think it's helped others as well.  It's so great how the ways out of our struggles often include helping others out of theirs. It's like the natural course of "pay it forward". 

I'm rambling. Basically, we went to his mission reunion and I heard exactly what I needed to hear and it made me happy. 

I love my husband. I love my baby girl. And I am so looking forward to the adventures our family will have on a daily basis.

October

It is October!! Which means a few things...

October means it is definitely fall. And we are now in Utah, you know a state with actually seasons (weird I know). Which means it's getting cold and the leaves are changing colors!! :) Also, I'm pretty sure our heater just got turned on for the first time (since we are in the basement we don't control the ac/heater) I'm so excited to actually experience fall in all it's glory! I can't wait to go to the corn maze and maybe drive the canyon and see all the beautiful fall foliage.

October means it is my hubby's birthday! Yay! John will be 26 is 10 days.... which means I really need to figure out his present. YIKES. We are planning on going to Toscanos for his birthday because well he wants to. And there are other exciting things planned for him, but I can't talk about those because then he would know and that would be lame. (So John if you are reading this too bad I am not giving away any clues!)

October is when it all began for us! It started with spin the bottle with a bunch of people on his birthday because we both thought it would be the only chance we had to kiss each other. Yogurtland to celebrate... well I don't remember, it was all a total excuse to hang out with him alone! He put his arm around me on the car ride home from the temple "so I could be more comfortable". Disneyland, where we both shamelessly completely let loose and flirted hard core with each other. (And still I didn't think he liked me....) WORLD OF COLOR... holding hands. Watching a movie and our first kiss. Grilled by my roommate about our relationship status which is how it all became official. So thank you October and all your magical wonderfulness.

October means my baby girl can have food! Real people foood! She will be 6 months on the 29th and let me tell you she is READY! Last night we decided to eat dinner in the living room so that Olivia could keep playing. John sat on the floor and Olivia made a bee line straight for him and kept running into him and getting all excited and drooling at our bowls. Then she started getting frustrated, which she does when we eat because she wants it BAD. So John gave her a taste on his finger and I am pretty sure she would have ripped his finger off if she could. I'm trying to decide what I want her first food to be! I made this butternut squash, garbanzo bean soup last week and the left overs are in the freezer... so maybe that. Or maybe some pumpkin curry in honor of it being October. We shall see!

October means, like I mentioned before, it's fall, when the leaves change. And this year with the changing of the leaves I have a few changes I am planning on making! (Well John and I decided them together). I've been struggling with being home alone all day with Olivia. Part of it is loneliness and part of it is probably connected to all the HUGE changes that have happened in the last 3 months. I know motherhood is SUPER important but not having specific things to do everyday and not having people to talk to all day is really getting to me. Who would have ever guessed that I would miss work AND school. Weird right. Well I do. Anyway, here are the things I plan on doing/changing so that I don't go crazy, so I don't have anxiety, and so I can just be a happier person.

1. I HAVE to run EVERY DAY. Well not Sundays, and I would say not saturdays but there is this law spouses running group on saturday mornings so I will be doing that.

2. I have to try and get together with someone everyday, even if it's just for 30 minutes. This one is a little tricky because well all my friends that were up here moved away. So, this is like a double, by having to get together with someone everyday that also means I have to make the effort to make friends. Which isn't always the easiest thing and can be awkward at times, but it's going to happen!

3. John and I are going to get back into playing games together in the evening. With him studying all day and me taking care of Olivia all day it's so easy just to get on our phones or watch a show in the evening, but that's not really quality time. So games we will play!!

4. Family History/genealogy. For those of you who don't know my family, my mom and gramma specifically are crazy good at genealogy. Seriously. So I'm gonna start getting more into it. They have done so much research, and while I want to see all that they have found I also want to find some things out on my own.

5. Other random things like going to the public library, doing crafts, cooking new food....

So if anyone has any ideas of other things to fill mine and Olivia's day send them my way!

Also, if anyone in the Provo area wants to join me on any of these things, please please please let me know!!

Welcome October, welcome Fall, and welcome change!!