Giggles

Last week John got Olivia to really giggle. Sadly I was in the bathroom so I didn't get to hear it.

Up until then she would kind of do this half giggle that she would choke on.

Last night we went over to Brianna's, John's older sister, for dinner. Brianna got Olivia to giggle and she just kept giggling. It was seriously the cutest thing ever. I don't know why I didn't record it.

Olivia is intense. That's how we described her when we first brought her home. It was what we would say when people asked if she was an easy baby. Her intensity has changed. It's not the same as when she was born. We figured out that she couldn't handle me eating dairy and eggs and we got her on antibiotics to keep any infections away from her bladder reflux. So she isn't constantly uncomfortable but still there is an intensity about her.

She let's us know when she is upset or doesn't like something. When she is happy she is super happy. She sleeps deeply, and eats fiercely. The wind and leafs fascinate her and she absolutely loves her daddy. She prefers to be held, and wants so badly to be able to eat real food and crawl.

I love my little girl. Sometimes her intensity is hard for me to handle but I wouldn't change a thing about her. I am so excited to walk her grow and learn and develop into this wonderful person. But for now I will enjoy my sweet little (intense) baby.

No dairy, no eggs

I mentioned in my breastfeeding awareness post that I can't have dairy or eggs because they don't sit well with Olivia. I thought I should talk a little bit more about that.

So for the first couple months Olivia was ALWAYS grumpy. If she wasn't eating or sleeping she was pretty much always screaming. It was worse at night but would last all day. So many would chalk this up to colic, so she would grow out of it by four months. Until then John and I would just have to sit helplessly by while our daughter seemed to be miserable.

I did not like the sound of that. I started reading, I looked up everything I could about babies screaming all the time. I read a lot about babies who are said to be colicky usually have stomach issues and probiotics can help a lot. So we started giving her probiotics and honestly it did help but she still screamed a lot and she still seemed miserable.

I kept reading, searching for something, and then I found it.  The breastfeeding elimination diet. Yes,  it is as awful as it sounds.  I read this whole thing how a lot of babies have issues with certain things the mom eats so this diet had you eliminate almost all food (seriously I think for two weeks all you could eat was organic, hormone free turkey breasts and nothing else) and then slowly introduce things back into your diet and see if baby has any reaction.

I did not want to do that so I went with the most common thing and eliminated that, dairy. At first it wasn't that bad but it's gotten really difficult, not because I desire to eat cheese or ice cream, or any other milk product. But because if I eat anywhere but home I have to worry about making sure there's nothing in the food I can't have. You have no Idea how much dairy is in food at restaurants until you can't have it. Also, eating at other people's houses or where others will be cooking is difficult. I don't want to sound snobby and request foods made with no milk, cheese, cream, butter, etc but I don't want to be rude and not eat the food prepared. Because eating the food is not an option.

Another difficult part is that unlike some things dairy does not take a few hours to leave our system, dairy can be in my system for up to two weeks. So if I slip up, super cranky, in pain baby for up to a few weeks.  Not cool. Not cool at all.

Also, I figured out eggs don't sit well with the girl.

It's hard sometimes and sometimes I miss cheese and sour cream (I'm a fanatic) or scrambled eggs but it's definitely worth having a happy baby.

So if anyone ever offers me food and it has dairy or eggs and I decline I'm not trying to be rude, I probably really wish I could eat it but I don't want to cause my baby girl pain and discomfort. So please don't take offense or take it personally, I really wish I could eat your (fill in with specific dairy filled offerings).

John Elliott Sellers

Little miss Olivia has had her whole life tracked up until now and I don't think I have said enough about the person who gave her the other half of her genes. (probably the better half)

John Elliott Sellers is my baby's daddy, my husband, the love of my life, and my best friend.

He is the best person I have ever known and I am so incredible lucky to have him by my side forever.

John is ambitious, hard working, opinionated, an adventurous cook, funny, and amazingly handsome. Some of these things drive other people crazy (especially when he gets in their kitchen) but I love all of these things about him.

I love that he randomly ran 6 miles, without training, to impress me. I love that he takes over in the kitchen no matter who is cooking. I love that he gets all nerdy with Android stuff.

John is an incredible person. He loves me, he loves our little girl, and I could and would never ask for a better person to spend forever with.

Urologist

Today was Olivia's appointment with the Urologist. It was really simple, straight forward, and quick.

He looked at the labs and he said it looked like she was a 3 and a 4, rather than a 4 and 5 like we were originally told.

He wants her to continue with the antibiotics for the next year. If she doesn't have any breakthrough infections, she will have more tests in a year to check if it's getting better on her own. If it's not getting any better or if she has breakthrough infections then we will talk about surgery. If it is looking like it is getting better then no surgery for her!

Also, we have to stop the antibiotics for a few days because she has been having diarrhea. So we need to figure out if that is what is causing it. If it is we will try a different kind of antibiotics to see if she does better with them.

Breastfeeding awareness month

August is breastfeeding awareness month. Since I am on my third month of my breastfeeding journey I thought I would share my experience.

It has not been the easiest of things for me.

While I was pregnant I heard so many people talk about how wonderful breastfeeding was and how it came so naturally and on the flip side I heard people talk about how it just didn't work, either they're milk never came in or they didn't make enough of it or their baby just wasn't having it.

I wanted to breastfeed. I was terrified it wouldn't work out for one reason or another but I wanted so badly to be able to do it for the following reasons.
1. My body was made to be able to feed my baby
2. It's the healthiest form of food for baby
3. It helps build a special bond
4. It helps you lose baby weight

Well, everything it was "supposed" to be was not what I experienced.

My body was made to breastfeed my baby

While this is definitely true and luckily I have had no issues with milk supply, it has not been the most natural thing for me. In the beginning Olivia had a horrible latch which lead to me crying every time she ate from pain and dreading her getting hungry which seemed to be every 30 minutes for the first while instead of every 2 to 3 hours like I was told. She is a big eater and even still eats more often than what they say she should for her age. That probably accounts for her being in the 87th percentile for height and weight.

It is the healthiest form of food for baby

Yes this is true.  Breastfed babies tend to get sick less often and have less chance of developing diabetes and obesity later in life.
Cut to Olivia screaming and crying between gulps and having extremely painful gas issues. This milk I make is supposed to be so good for her but it would end in serious struggle and lots of tears. I eventually learned that if I cut out all dairy and eggs she would be better and only sometimes struggle and cry during feedings. (but the ice cream! And mashed potatoes! And cheese! Yeah it sucks sometimes)

It helps build a special bond

I love Olivia. She is my baby, she is funny, and I wouldn't change her for anything but this love I have for her was not developed through feedings. In fact, a lot of night feedings give me anxiety and a few times I've been on the verge of panic attacks. I was asked by a friend if I had fallen asleep nursing yet and the truth is I have never felt relaxed while nursing and most of the time I have to do something to distract myself to keep the anxiety at bay. I don't dread feeding her anymore, and I wouldn't switch to formula or solely pump, even if the girl would take a bottle. But breastfeeding is not how I feel closer to Olivia.

The baby weight
It's gone. I lost all but 5 pounds by six weeks and now I'm down below my prepregnancy weight. I guess that is one upside to not being able to eat dairy ;)

This is my experience with breastfeeding. I guess I feel like there are all these expectations about what it should be, how amazing and natural it is. How it might be hard at the beginning but once you figure it out its the best thing ever but the truth is that's not how it is for everyone. I feel like all those expectations make it really hard on the moms, myself included, that struggle with it in one way or another. It makes it a whole lot easier to give up if it's not the amazing bonding experience that comes so naturally that it's suppose to be. For those mom's who have that experience I say you're the lucky ones. But to those who don't I say try your hardest and if it doesn't work you are no less than a mother. And if you keep going despite your struggles I am right there with you.

The Place I Now Call Home

A month. That's how long it's been since I've been in California. Utah is different and it's no California but it is still a beautiful place and I'm excited to be here.

To start look at these amazing sunsets! And no there are no filters or anything. This is how they looked!

I have taken so many pictures of sunsets it is ridiculous. But they are just so gorgeous! 

This is on the path I run. I can't wait till fall and all the leaves change colors! It is going to be awesome!

So John gets these emails about stuff that's going on it Utah County and Salt Lake County. A couple weeks ago there was a FREE concert in Salt Lake. It was Train, so we decided to go. The funny thing is the only song I thought I knew from train was that Marry Me song (I don't even know if that's what it is called). But it turns out I knew all the songs they played except like 3! 

John was SUPER excited because it was Olivia's first concert and he said it was like a rite of passage or something. 

These are just a couple pictures from when we went for some walks around our neighborhood. 

I am kind of obsessed with these mountains. 

This is our apartment!! (I dont know why I don't have a picture of our bedroom, but we have one I promise!)

Olivia's room!

So this is our "foster" dog. We live in the basement apartment of a house and the people that live upstairs have this dog. They told us anytime we want to take him on a walk or play with him we can, they even told us where the spare key for the house is in case they aren't home and Rocky, that's his name, is inside. 

Isn't he cute!

The other day we went up Provo Canyon and went on a walk. Seriously this state is gorgeous!

Today we went on a little walk around the Provo Temple grounds. 

Isn't the view amazing!!

And surprise we saw Hermana Sellers! (John's sister who is at the missionary training center before she leaves to Puebla, Mexico on a mission)

So Basically, I think I am beginning to love it here. I mean it is super different from California and I definitely miss everyone back home, but this place is gorgeous and these next three years are going to be awesome. Hard with having John in law school, but it's gonna be great. 

Oh and John got his first reading assignments already! He starts on the 20th! SO SOON!!

Also, we have an appointment with a urologist for Olivia next wednesday! 

Also, here is a picture of Olivia. She is getting SO big! She is in the 87th percentile for height and weight and the 47th for head size.