We're ready for you.

5 days until Olivia is 3, John graduates, and I have reached my due date.

Any day baby could come, or it could still be a couple weeks until we meet the newest member of our family.
Secretly we are hoping baby waits till the due date, at least. I would REALLY like to be able to be at John's graduation.
Also, I have been absolutely terrified at the thought of leaving Olivia while I deliver/recover at the hospital, and how the transition to 2 will go. So, baby taking some time is a-ok with me. Of course, I'd love to not be preggo anymore, but if staying pregnant meant more time I could deal. This is how I have felt up until today.

Today, today I am ready. Ready emotionally, finally. Olivia and I watched this beautiful birth video today. Olivia giggled and was super excited and cuddly through the whole thing. I have no doubt that though the transition will most likely be hard, Olivia will be an amazing big sister. She will love the baby and we will still be able to have mommy and Olivia time. And somehow I will survive not sleeping between a toddler who doesn't nap and has nightmares, and a newborn.

So, baby if you choose to come after graduation that would be fantastic, but if you come in the next few days mommy won't have a melt down.

We are ready for you little one.

38 weeks

38 weeks. I'm not going to lie this pregnancy has been SO long for me. It was definitely harder than Olivia's and I feel like every time some symptom would get almost better a new worse one would start up.
Usually the end of pregnancy is when people are just done and feel run down. I can honestly say right now I feel the best I've felt I think my entire pregnancy.
Yes, I have insomnia.
Yes, baby head butts my cervix and it feels like a knife.
Yes, it's hard to get comfortable.
And of course I'm ready to have my body back but I don't feel​ like things are unmanageable.

Lately, people have started asking if we are excited to have a newborn again. I really don't know how to respond to people because honestly I'm terrified.
The newborn stage with Olivia was so hard, terrifying, and one of the worst times in my life.
Between the pain of breastfeeding, Olivia eating every 30 minutes, screaming ALL the time, figuring out her dairy allergy, her getting sick, being told we were awful parents by the ER nurse, her getting sicker and being admitted, drs saying she may die, and then finding out about her kidney defect, it was horrible.

(All that in the first 6 weeks of her life and the hospital literally the weekend before we moved to Utah, my first time living more than 30 minutes from my home town).

I think I'm a bit traumatized by it all. I know that this is a different baby and most likely we won't experience the same things but the fear is still there. So, if I seem overly protective of our baby know that it's nothing personal.

We are excited for baby and are crossing our fingers the big day can wait until the due date so I can be at John's graduation the day before!

Evelyn Rae's birth story

I'm sitting in the hospital, my newborn baby just finished nursing and is fast asleep in my arms,now is probably the best time to write out her birth story. It's still fresh in my mind and I haven't distractions, just time.

As everyone knows, my due date came and went with no sign of baby coming. It was nice because I was able to go to John's graduation and we could celebrate Olivia's birthday. Though after a few days, then a week past we were starting to get anxious!

Olivia was born a few days early, so of course we expected the same. I reached the point that I needed to go in twice a week to get a non stress test done to make sure baby was still ok. Baby barely failed the first one, so I was sent to get an ultrasound and everything was good.

A few days later (May 8th, 41 weeks, 2 days) I went in for the next one. Baby did great! I hadn't been checked so I asked to be, I was dilated to a 5! (I dilated before labor with Olivia as well). So, I was hoping baby would arrive before the weekend.

I spent the rest of the day with Olivia and my parents. We went to Costco and then went home and just chilled. I was having contractions all day but they weren't consistent or getting painful so I figured my body was just continuing to prepare. (I had been having contractions off and on for a week or so).

John got home and we went to dinner at this yummy Greek place. Side note, driving there it started hailing the size of grapes! Our windshield has tiny chips all over it now.

After dinner we went home, put Olivia to sleep and chilled. John and I watched an episode of Parks and Rec and went to bed close to 10:30. At this point I still didn't think it would happen until at least the next day or two. 

Then the fun started. My contractions started to be uncomfortable and I realized they were coming fairly quickly. At 10:49 I timed my first contraction, they were about 3 minutes apart. At 11:08 I got up to pee thinking maybe that's why it was uncomfortable. I had a few more contractions and then woke John up and said I thought it was time to go.

This is where it started getting a little crazy. We changed and packed the last minute stuff, with contractions in between. John was amazing and every time a contraction hit he would come push on my lower back until it ended. Before we left John gave me the best blessing and the next contraction held off till he was done.

We went down to get in the car and tell my parents we were leaving and that's when I had my first really bad contraction. I had 1 or 2 more before I could get in the car.

We left our house at 11:44. The car ride to the hospital was awful! It's like a 10-15 minute drive, and I had 4 or 5 contractions. I was sitting in the front and that was so uncomfortable I just wanted to be on my hands and knees.

I honestly started to think we weren't going to make it.
We pulled up to the hospital and got buzzed in. We barely made it into the elevator before another contraction hit and I immediately went down to hands and knees.

When the doors opened I literally crawled out because my contraction was still going and I honestly thought if the doors closed our baby would be born in the elevator. (Wouldn't that have been fun).

As soon as the contraction ended a nurse was already there beside me and helping me up and to my room. I had a contraction in the hallway, then as soon as I got in the room, and I think with the next contraction I was pushing. (John was so great this whole time! He was encouraging me and would push on my back during contractions and in between pushing massage my shoulders. He was the best support!) My water broke, and a few pushes later baby was out, at 12:11am May 9th. (An hour and 22 minutes from when I started timing contractions to birth, less than 30 minutes from first hard contraction to birth).

I immediately had her skin to skin and no one saw if baby was a boy or girl. It was a little tricky because I gave birth on my knees leaning over the bed so I was trying to figure out how to flip over while holding baby still attached to me. John was finally able to see and announced we had a girl! It didn't really register immediately because I was a little bit in shock with how​ fast everything happened. But we are so happy we don't have to figure out a boy name!

It was seriously so insane! I went to sleep thinking I'd be pregnant a few more days. And then in a flash, our baby arrived. No pain meds, no interventions, exactly what I wanted. 😊