38 weeks

38 weeks. I'm not going to lie this pregnancy has been SO long for me. It was definitely harder than Olivia's and I feel like every time some symptom would get almost better a new worse one would start up.
Usually the end of pregnancy is when people are just done and feel run down. I can honestly say right now I feel the best I've felt I think my entire pregnancy.
Yes, I have insomnia.
Yes, baby head butts my cervix and it feels like a knife.
Yes, it's hard to get comfortable.
And of course I'm ready to have my body back but I don't feel​ like things are unmanageable.

Lately, people have started asking if we are excited to have a newborn again. I really don't know how to respond to people because honestly I'm terrified.
The newborn stage with Olivia was so hard, terrifying, and one of the worst times in my life.
Between the pain of breastfeeding, Olivia eating every 30 minutes, screaming ALL the time, figuring out her dairy allergy, her getting sick, being told we were awful parents by the ER nurse, her getting sicker and being admitted, drs saying she may die, and then finding out about her kidney defect, it was horrible.

(All that in the first 6 weeks of her life and the hospital literally the weekend before we moved to Utah, my first time living more than 30 minutes from my home town).

I think I'm a bit traumatized by it all. I know that this is a different baby and most likely we won't experience the same things but the fear is still there. So, if I seem overly protective of our baby know that it's nothing personal.

We are excited for baby and are crossing our fingers the big day can wait until the due date so I can be at John's graduation the day before!